Bend It Like Boris; Trumpet Like Trump & Push It Like Putin

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Olympus the ruler of the world: Image: Public domain.
Simon Altmann pokes his satirical knife, seeking the truth from Donald Trump, Vladimir Putin & Boris Johnson.

Truth is a fickle commodity these days. Everybody knows that something unusual happened recently in Salisbury but, what is the truth? In order to satisfy the legitimate curiosity of my readers, I decided to travel to that centre of excellence in the conveyance of truth, Washington DC. Here it is that it was discovered that there are some truths that we know, and some we don’t. But also, truths that we do not know that we don’t know, as opposed to truths that we know we do not know. Nowhere else in the world so much is not known about what we do not know.

Fortunately, since Jupiter had descended on this town, information of the highest quality is constantly conveyed to the public. No wonder Jupiter was called the Thunderer, and you would think that he would have got stuck in the ancient technologies of Olympus, that depended so much on good old Mercury going up and down with news. Not at all now, Mercury has been pensioned off and the Thunderer himself dominates the waves (the electromagnetic ones, of course). No wonder the hoi polloi are beginning to call him the Twitterer. And the stories about him are a constant source of entertainment and delight. Even the fact that Leda and Calisto are separately suing him for aggravated rape and aggravated murder (respectively) add to the happy and stimulating atmosphere of the great city.

I was immediately surprised, on my arrival, to find a large number of people circulating the public places in burkas, all black of course. And I say, people because I suspected that not all were females, which was soon explained to me by my CIA informant. The secret services had found that the burkas were an ideal way of circulating anonymously and inconspicuously through the town. I confess that I was taken aback by this claim of inconspicuousness since they stood out a mile away, but then I reflected that in the old days, secret agents also stood out a mile away, all with the same suits and those dark spectacles.



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