The Maha Black Money Fighter!

modi, black, money, demonetisation
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"Thanks to Maha Yug Purush Modiji, India has become a truly cashless society. No one has cash, not even the banks."

Mitron! I’ve got some breaking news for you. This, truly is Sansani Khabhar!

There is reason to believe that the matinee idol Amitabh Bacchan knew about demonetisation way before it was announced. Don’t trust me? See this video below.

In this video you can see the Big B of Bollywood announcing the arrival of demonetisation to his baba. In his characteristic, filmy style, he says “Please listen to me carefully baba. I have just received inside information, that by the end of the year, the Government will make it impossible for black money to function.”

Big B did this almost two decades before Modi became Sarkar. Does that mean that we could comfortably assume that Maha Yug Purush (meaning ‘super-duper once-in-a-lifetime leader’ – don’t you forget it!) Modiji with the fifty-two inch chest was inspired by the matinee idol’s story and screenplay? Sigh! Can’t figure out if the chick came first or the egg.

Regardless of who inspired whom, there is one thing that all of us should (absolutely must) agree on. Modi Sarkar has done a surgical strike (or as the Supreme Court says, carpet bombing, with casualties) on black money. It is good for the country – so you should (must) agree. Even if you don’t agree, you have no choice – absolutely none at all.

Thanks to Maha Yug Purush Modiji, the greatest black money fighter on earth, India has become a truly cashless society. No one has cash, not even the banks.

The chain goes like this – The Reserve Bank of India has not printed enough cash. So they are not able to give enough of it to the banks. The banks don’t have enough cash, so they are not able to give it to those who deposited their earnings. Millions of Mother India’s children don’t have cash to buy basics to live on. But, it is good for the country. This is a fantastic way to fight black money. We must all hail the greatest black money fighter on earth for this Maha initiative. After all, we have voted him in to do exactly this. We did ask for this, didn’t we?

Also, this is the only way to push millions of Indians into the digital future, overnight. We have to become digitally savvy even if we can’t read and write. If they can’t use ATM, they can use that private company, PayTM, no? This is the only way to make India a digital desh and all Indians cashless digital desis (CDDs). India may well be the world’s largest democracy, but since when did democracy become a choice-wala? Indians need danda (stick), not choice, agree?

If there is no cash, so what, it’s not the Reserve Bank’s fault. It’s the Maha Yug Purush Modiji’s decision to make India black money free. It’s good for the country.

The dudes at RBI, poor chaps, did not have enough time to print new currency. They may have missed a few details here and there, printed some notes in different sizes, and left most ATMs uncalibrated the day of the decision. So what? Bloody time did not give them enough time to print new notes. It’s time’s fault, not Modiji’s. Go check it – he was voted the person of the year online.

Some people may have died standing in queues. So what? They may have died anyway. You see, India is a country with over one billion people. We are bloody over populated – there is no question about it, we need to downsize. As the sanskari honourable minister Giriraj Singh said, after note bandi, India’s priority should be Nasbandi (sterilization). And, as Hindu Mahasabha leader Sadhvi Deva Thakur said, this applies especially for those who breed in their dozens, spreading love jihad. Some pain is needed for long-term gain. Collateral damage is bound to happen in such things, no?

We are fighting black money baba. This is good for the country. Even if you don’t agree, you don’t have a choice. Like it or not, your empty wallet is fighting black money. We are all black money fighters in Modiji’s shakha dojo.

But still, standing in long, winding queues outside banks, if there is one mantra that millions of Indians are reciting – it’s not the four-letter NAMO, it is the five-letter PAISA!

It reminds me of that bloody old song, remember that?

Mujhe mil jo jaye thoda paisa,

Mujhe mil jo jaye thoda paisa,

Thoda paisa, aisa vaisa, thoda paisa…

Magar kai-i-i-i-sa?


Views expressed are that of Eka Love Ya and do not represent that of Madras Courier.

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