Relativistic Laundering: A Divertissement

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A washer man (dhobi wallah) in Delhi Credit: Wellcome Library, London. http://wellcomeimages.org A washer man (dhobi wallah) in Delhi Watercolour 19th century Published: under Creative Commons Attribution only licence CC BY 4.0
Simon Altmann offers a very simple method to do the laundry without the use of water, detergents, or energy in any form.

The greatest problems of our time are the environment and the misuse of natural resources. I am offering to my readers, for this reason, a very simple method to do the laundry without the use of water, detergents, or energy in any form.

Before I go any further, I want to reassure my readers that this is not the usual treatment in the style of the snake-oil merchants that pollute the internet. All human beings have on a rainy day watched videos that offer infallible methods to reduce ten pounds of weight in three days, which after half an hour of profuse blah-blah end by offering a book of instructions at the highly reduced price of $39.99.

After reading this note, instead, you will be the proud possessor of a wonderful laundering method which you can implement at once in your own commodious residences without the use of any materials or machineryBut I must first tell you how this amazing idea came to my mind.

In the year 1945, I was a student at the University of Buenos Aires. This does not appear to have anything to do with laundry. Still, it is essential, by the unwritten internet rules, to go always as far back as possible to create a state of either expectation or exasperation in the reader’s mind, depending on his or her IQ. 

In that year, the fascist leader of Argentina, Perón, removed the autonomy of the University and us students opposed it with, in my case, two linked consequences: first, I went to jail. Then, next year, when I had to do my compulsory military service, I was sent to the most horrid place in the Argentinian army, the 12th of Artillery at Apóstoles, Misiones. (How the concatenation of circumstances creates unfathomable consequences!)



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